Irreconcilable

One of the dangers of staying hurt too long is you don’t recognize or trust new help. Hurt impacts what level of help you’re willing to receive. God has sent the help; you’re just too hurt to see it! HEAL....... you’ve got work to do the work of healing.  Dr. Matthew Stevenson, August 14, 2019

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Emotional healing will cost you your comfort. It is what has worked that is suffocating your freedom from trauma and the dream of resuscitating a dead relationship. Survival is suitable for a season, but when you outgrow the season of survival, and the echoing call is to destroy the chains of generational limitations, the challenge of fully releasing what must go is no longer optional.

The price of being right, hoping you will be heard and seen by someone incapable of fulfilling what is dehydrated in a longing no human can fulfill, becomes too costly. Particularly when a human capacity to fill your empty cup is not present.

This type of grief and loss does not have to be lifelong. The journey, however, can potentially force you into a cycle of hurt, anger, bitterness, and repeat. Internal reflection will reveal your hope and reconnection with your Divine Self.

However, challenging your mind to choose peace instead of pain, happiness instead of hurt, and full fill meant over frustration is a discipline not comfortably mastered when you are right, justified, and owed not just an apology but reparation for the emotional damage endured in an irreconcilable relationship.

Give yourself space and time to embellish the pain. Embrace with all of your being. Cry, sing, sleep, scream, journal, but FEEL the pain. Do your best not to anesthetize what you feel by jumping into another relationship too quick, eating, drinking, sexing, binge TV watching, over-churching, and whatever else you use not to feel. Tell the truth. Pretending it’s okay when it’s not okay is a surefire way to stay in this specific hurt for too long.

Give yourself a date and time when you will officially memorialize the relationship. Eulogize your relationship. Literally, write a Eulogy. Include in the Eulogy start date and the emotional end date. Acknowledge the offense, hurt, and pain. Conclude your Eulogy with today. I choose to release this pain and discomfort that no longer serves me or those connected to me. This pain will now fuel inner passion to always stand in truth, choose love over fear, choose wisdom over whimsical delight, and listen to the inner voice and consciousness when things are not aligning with my truth. It is essential to say the words chosen. This activates your subconscious and conscious mind so you always have a choice and the courage to decide what is right for you. Choose and decide in the space of love, not fear, power, not victim. Clear and concise, not emotionally thirsty decisions.

Make a copy of the Eulogy. Burn the original and keep the copy. For 90 days, be intentional and speak your I choose declarations daily. 

For more information on releasing trauma bond relationships, do not hesitate to contact

Lurinda Iris Jones Ljones@COINPM